It's about that time

The snow can only delay this for so long.  It's time to go back to school.  I have been thinking about (dreading) this day since Parker was born.  I could not imagine leaving that sweet face in the hands of anyone else.  Sometimes when I thought about my return to class and clinicals my chest would actually ache.  Thankfully God is in control and allowed me to ease into this process.  An opening was available for Parker for daycare in the middle of November.  In order to keep the spot we had to start paying then (yikes).  I have worked at this daycare off and on for a few years so I started working there part time again.  It was the perfect way to ease into leaving him.  I was able to work down the hall, or sometimes even in his room, and I could check on him all I wanted :)  Don't get me wrong...there is no other place I would rather him be than this daycare.  I know Parker is so loved.  They were very excited for him to be born.  They got to see me when I was super pregnant because I worked there over the summer up until 2 weeks before Parker was born.  They even gave me extra breaks and wouldn't let me spend much time in the sun.  I love this place and the people that work there. 

That being said...this is still a dreaded day.  Any type of school keeps you busy, but nursing school is ridiculous.  The hardest part is knowing that when I pick him up to go home my work isn't over.  There will always be chapters to read, clinical paperwork to fill out and tests to study for.  Ben is ready to have some extra quality time with our little guy, but selfishly I want that quality time. 

Here is where is gets less depressing ;)  I am so very thankful to have the opportunity to go back and get my degree.  It has been a loooong road filled with many unforeseen obstacles.  I should have graduated in May '08.  I am trying not to dwell on the fact that my little sister is graduating before me.  Let's just hope I finish before my youngest sister (kidding, kidding).  To be honest, I am a little excited about getting back into classes.  I love nursing.  I love human anatomy, I love compassion, I love my blue scrubs.  I was made to be a nurse.  I am a little nervous about how rusty I will be at clinicals.  If you are headed to the hospital please don't be scared.  I promise to practice all invasive procedures before performing them on you, ha.  I am especially excited about 2 of the 3 classes I have this semester:  Peds and OB.  Honestly I should get extra credit for just having gone through labor. 

Moral of this story:  please pray for me.  Putting him to bed tonight was difficult.  There may or may not have been some tears.  Pray for my attitude, my lack of time management skills and for my relationships with Ben and Parker.  I also am going into a new class.  I like familiar things, and I like my comfort zone.  I already had my nursing school friends.  I have a hard enough time putting myself out there and now I have to do it all over again...great...ha.  Tomorrow is a big day for me. 

...or maybe the roads can be extra icy and they decide to close after all.  either way ;)